Anger Management

So we’ve all seen the lists of “THE WORST THINGS EVER” that are essentially “oh em gee I’m so rich and spoiled I don’t want to get up and get my laptop charger which is all the way across the room”.  Not that I haven’t been there – an object at rest tends to stay at rest and all that – but seriously, does that really ruin your whole day?  No, no it does not.  You need to get up eventually, or you wouldn’t be able to afford that laptop or the electricity that makes it run.  However, there ARE little things that aren’t that big of a deal – at first, or at first glance, but goddamn do they end up making your whole entire day uncomfortable.  Just a warning, this is going to be a very female – heavy list because, well, I’m a girl and that’s what I’m working with.

  • Waiting for your period to come.  The cramps, the foggy brain syndrome, the constant checking and counting, and the CONSTANT checking because you thought it started.  There is NOTHING worse than running to the bathroom a hundred times in a day, terrified to bleed through your pants, ESPECIALLY if you’re the only woman in an office full of men.
  • Eating chips and having them fall down the front of your shirt.  CHIPS IN THE BRA.  For Christ’s sake – is anything worse?  It’s itchy and those are all chips that I didn’t get to eat.  Terrible.  Infuriating.  Plus it just generally makes me feel like a goddamned slob.
  • People who stop where there are no stop or yield signs.  Maybe it’s just where I live, but there are THREE individual places I can think of off the top of my head where, for whatever reason, people INSIST on stopping EVEN THOUGH there is no stop/yield sign – in two of the three situations, you get your own lane, so there’s no merge, and in the third, the cross lanes have stop signs.  BUT PEOPLE INSIST UPON STOPPING AND CAUSING TRAFFIC BACKUPS AND CAUSING PEOPLE TO NEARLY GET REAR-ENDED.  It is literally enough to ruin my whole day when I get stuck behind one of those people – and today I got stuck behind two, at the same off-ramp. 
  • When the liner on your heels starts getting loose and it sticks to your feet when you’re walking.  Ugh.  Your shoes start coming up as you walk and your pants fall down inside your shoes and pull down on your next step.  Again, not the worst thing in the world, but it certainly makes your day a tiny bit worse every time you want to use the bathroom or refill your coffee cup.
  • When somebody is completely silent during commercial breaks and then turns to start a conversation THE SECOND MY SHOW COMES BACK ON.  I realize that this is entirely dependent on my mood, and it’s important to note that it’s less about talking while I’m watching TV and more about not taking advantage of the natural breaks in my show to ask me questions/start a conversation.  USE YOUR COMMON SENSE.  It infuriates me.

I’m sure there are plenty more, but those are the things that I can think of that I have simply outsized reactions to.  Any others?

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