Since having the babies, I’ve noticed that I have one super huge major pet peeve. It is not, as you may expect, people commenting on twins, or asking stupid questions about them (although that does happen, I think my serious case of RBF protects me from the worst of it because it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it does to others I speak to). It’s the comments about BB. People tend to be incredibly surprised that he’s so hands on with them (which: really? He should just let them cry because they outnumber me?), and then make comments to me which amount to “you should never complain about anything because if you do he’s totally within his rights to stop helping you.” Or, anytime that I’m out (at work or otherwise) and BB is home with the girls, people act shocked and ask if I’m OK, or if I’m nervous out of my mind. Seriously, people? It’s 2014. Are we still holding onto these antiquated gender roles that say that men are useless with children and need to be supervised at all times? That’s where we are? Come on. He’s their father. He’s been taking care of them since the moment they were born – he held them before me, he changed their diapers before me, he has been there for every single step of their lives just as much as I have. The idea that either a) he’s naturally incompetent and I need to hover over him like he’s another child or b) he’s not responsible for caring for them & I should be incredibly grateful that he’s doing me this huge favor is just so irritating and offensive to me.
So, let’s just get this out right now: BB is absolutely just as responsible for these girls as I am. Changing diapers, feeding them, whatever. And he does an amazing job at it not because i guilt him into it, but because he’s a legitimately excellent father.