Just kidding, I’m totally not starting an advice column. I don’t know enough about anything to give anyone advice, first of all, and secondly I’m way more likely to yell at people to snap out of their shenanigans complaining and just DO SOMETHING ALREADY to fix their issues (hypocrite, party of one, thank you). No, no. What I’m discussing today is instead the TIDAL WAVE of unsolicitied advice that I, as a first-time new mother, am subjected to from literally every parent in my life.
Now, to be clear, I’m very aware that everyone means well, and that it’s totally reasonable for an experienced parent to want to bring their experience and knowledge to a new parent, to help out. I enjoy talking to other parents about different methods to deal with the same problem (or different vairiations on the same problem). That is not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is asking me how the girls are doing, and then when I respond, wincing and telling me what a hard time I’m going to have breaking them of the bad habits I’m going to create. Or asking how I’m handling a certian situation, and then lecturing me about how you’re sure that works for me, but your way is really just so much better for the family. Two things I want to say each and every time:
1) Every child, parent, family is different, so there’s no reason to assume that because something did / did not work for you and your family does not mean my family will have the same results.
2) Check your family. Do you see twins? No? Then your commentary on how I handle mine is neither informed nor useful.
Look, I’m not saying that parents of singletons (is that a word people in general use? It’s crept into my vocabulary) don’t have anything to offer when it comes to parenting advice and words of wisdom. I’ll take all the help I can get, honest. But if you’ve only ever had one baby at a time, you can sit down with the condescending “this is how it should be done” attitude, because my experience is NOTHING like yours.